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Forums » Sirius Black Inspirations » Fanfiction » Falling For You - CHAPTER 21 WOOHOO
Falling For You - CHAPTER 21 WOOHOO
Review our FanFiction authors and stories here, as well as post your own. Discuss your favorite Sirius Black fanfictions in a forum just for you.
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jasmine
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Post Post subject: Falling For You - CHAPTER 21 WOOHOO
Posted: Wed Aug 04, 2004 02:40 AM
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I thought I'd post the link to my fanfic on FFnet because its a bit long to post here. Please read and review.

Basically, it takes place in the summer after OOtP. Sirius is back from beyond the veil, Fred and George are up to more mayhem in the name of Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes, the Order have their hands full and the usual chaos is going on at 12 Grimmauld Place with Harry, Ron, Hermione and their friend Jasmine (I'd like to point out that I wrote it ages before I decided my username on here, so it's nothing to do with self-insertion, I promise, I just like the name..).
It's basically what goes on during the summer and the next term at Hogwarts, my version of the beginning of boox six, but there are quite a lot of things just waiting to go wrong - Bellatrix Lestrange is anxious to finish what she started at the Ministry, Snape is on the prowl, Sirius has an admirer in the Order... Rated PG-13. Anyway, here's the link:

www.fanfiction.net/s/1985918/1/

The first two chapters are really old, but chapter 3 is where is gets a lot better, so please read to there and see if you like it or not.


Last edited by jasmine on Wed Jan 03, 2007 07:13 PM; edited 3 time in total
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Ginevra6
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Post Post subject: Re: Falling For You - Rated PG-13
Posted: Fri Aug 06, 2004 08:36 AM
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Jasmine, wow, what a cliffhanger...I'll be waiting to see what happens. I have really enjoyed this story so far. Your dialogue is particularly good, and Fred and George's antics are great. I'm not sure how I feel about Sirius being with somebody Harry's age...but as long as he gets over Hestia! Ugh. Then again, I was thinking when I wrote my applications how difficult it must be for Sirius to relate to people his own age, having lost a massive chunk of life experience...

And snaps to you for bringing him back - yay!

Keep writing

~Ginny

<span style="color:black;font-family:Christmas;font-size:small;]Sirius's Angel of Corruption[/color]


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jasmine
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Post Post subject: Re: Falling For You - Rated PG-13
Posted: Fri Aug 06, 2004 09:42 AM
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Yay! I'm glad you liked it, I'll be putting chapter 7 up soon.

I know, at first I thought it was a bit odd because he's older, but after reading the story Fallen on FF.net, it didn't seem so strange so I decided to go ahead with writing it.

Thanks for telling me what you think Wink






<span style="color:blue;font-family:helvetica;]At that moment, Voldy, who was happily bobbing and crooning to some inane boyband, gave his tail a particularly vigorous twirl.[/color]



<span style="color:teal;font-family:helvetica;]&quot;Oh no!&quot; said BlackDog, &quot;Not Snape!&quot;

&quot;Yes, indeed, Potter,&quot; said Snape, who was having a little difficulty remembering that he wasn't in Potions right now.[/color]



<span style="color:purple;font-family:helvetica;]Voldemort laughed and twirled the tail on his catsuit.[/color]



<span style="color:red;font-family:helvetica;]Umbridge, who was once again resolutely refusing to be a squash, had sniffed out the use of the word 'frilly' some ten posts ago, and been magnetically attracted.[/color]



<span style="color:green;font-family:helvetica;]&quot;Yes,&quot; agreed Fire &quot;Plus you forget that it's actualy Nude Recreation week anyway.&quot;

&quot;Is it?!&quot; said Snape, looking cheered and moving to take off his speedo.[/color]

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Ginevra6
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Post Post subject: Re: Falling For You - Rated PG-13
Posted: Mon Aug 09, 2004 12:38 AM
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I loved this chapter...I really like Sirius having someone to talk to. If you get time to read it, I'd love to know what you think of 'Requiem for an Outlaw' (it's not long). I love to hear from other writers.



~Ginny

<span style="color:black;font-family:Christmas;font-size:small;]Sirius's Angel of Corruption[/color]


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MlGolden6
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Post Post subject: Re: Falling For You - Rated PG-13
Posted: Thu Aug 12, 2004 09:32 AM
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Okay, I started last night, took a break to sleep and just finished reading all nine chapters. They are excellent. I really like the story. I don't know where you are heading with Jasmine's outings, but it adds to the story and I want to see where it goes.



I also don't like Heista (hope I spelled that right), but if you need her, you need her. She seems to only have a good personality around Sirius and some members of the order. She seems very two-faced.



I really like the way you have Ron and Hermione interacting. It does remind me of how they are in the actual books, but without as much fighting.



Is there a chance of Ginny and Dean splitting up and Ginny ending up with Harry? If not, that's okay too. It just seems like Sirius will have someone soon and everyone else does, so why not Harry. (I personally prefer him with Ginny-She knows everything he's going through)



Your character Jasmine seems like a likable person, but I really don't like her outings. I am waiting for those to be explained more. I like her, but I think she needs to stop seeing so many boys. I think she may be better off with Sirius, if it will give her the steady kind of relationship she seems to need. She needs more self-confidence.



I really can't find anything wrong with your story/writing. It is all very good. The only thing is, during the Umbridge reign at Hogwarts, George and Fred leave saying we can find them at Diagon Alley. I didn't know if you were just going about the story and omitting that, which is fine with me because I love Fred and George's antics. I just thought I would mention it. Otherwise, it's a great story and I can't wait to read more.



Sorry it's so long, but I had nine chapter's to think about while I wrote this.



GREAT JOB!!!

<!--EZCODE EMOTICON START Clap! --><img src=http://pages.prodigy.net/siriusblack/boards/smilies/clap.gif ALT=":clap]<!--EZCODE EMOTICON END--> <!--EZCODE EMOTICON START Thumbs Up --><img src=http://pages.prodigy.net/siriusblack/boards/smilies/thumb.gif ALT=":ok]<!--EZCODE EMOTICON END--> <!--EZCODE EMOTICON START Clap! --><img src=http://pages.prodigy.net/siriusblack/boards/smilies/clap.gif ALT=":clap]<!--EZCODE EMOTICON END--> <!--EZCODE EMOTICON START Thumbs Up --><img src=http://pages.prodigy.net/siriusblack/boards/smilies/thumb.gif ALT=":ok]<!--EZCODE EMOTICON END-->



-Michelle <!--EZCODE EMOTICON START blue paw --><img src=http://pages.prodigy.net/siriusblack/boards/smilies/bl_paw.gif ALT=":paw]<!--EZCODE EMOTICON END-->

[Shelly][/link]

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jasmine
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Post Post subject: Re: Falling For You - Rated PG-13
Posted: Thu Aug 12, 2004 02:15 PM
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Yaay, thank you for reading it!



No, you're not meant to like Hestia, but she is there for a reason.

About Harry and Ginny...you'll have to wait and see <!--EZCODE EMOTICON START Very Happy --><img src=http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/happy.gif ALT=":D]<!--EZCODE EMOTICON END--> I'm glad you think Hermione are Ron are believable, I tried to make them as close to the books as possible.

I know, I don't like her 'outings' either, but they will come into the story later and that's why they have to be there. And about Fred and George, they still have the shop in Diagon Alley, there's more about that in chapter 11, I'm putting chapter 10 up tonight.

Thank you so much for reading and telling me what you think , im glad you liked it!






<span style="color:lime ;font-family:helvetica;] Proud member of Immeritus, clone of Nor, Angel of Sirius and....Viking.[/color]



<span style="color:blue;font-family:helvetica;]CLASSIC SAAW: At that moment, Voldy, who was happily bobbing and crooning to some inane boyband, gave his tail a particularly vigorous twirl.[/color]



<span style="color:teal;font-family:helvetica;]&quot;Oh no!&quot; said BlackDog, &quot;Not Snape!&quot;

&quot;Yes, indeed, Potter,&quot; said Snape, who was having a little difficulty remembering that he wasn't in Potions right now.[/color]



<span style="color:red;font-family:helvetica;]Voldy, meanwhile, was coming to the conclusion that the smock was doing him no favours, and was in the process of transforming it back into his favourite catsuit, crooning under his breath, 'I'm too sexy for my catsuit...too sexy for my catsuit...so sexy'[/color]

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peaches3307
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Post Post subject: Re: Falling For You - Rated PG-13
Posted: Thu Aug 12, 2004 04:49 PM
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Jas! Wow, as usual. I hate you <!--EZCODE EMOTICON START :grr --><img src=http://pages.prodigy.net/siriusblack/boards/smilies/grr.gif ALT=":grr]<!--EZCODE EMOTICON END--> you write too well. Justttt kidding <!--EZCODE EMOTICON START Very Happy --><img src=http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/happy.gif ALT=":D]<!--EZCODE EMOTICON END--> . Poor Jas, poor Sirius, mean Hestia. She is brainwashing Sirius! Ah! Jas is just a poor messed up girl, I hope she gets straightened out! Chapters 9 and 10 were great!! Keep 'em coming!

<span style="color:blue;font-family:century gothic;font-size:xx-small;]~peach

or princess peach, dubbed by Mariana[/color]

<span style="color:red;font-family:helvetica;font-size:x-small;]The First Dubbed[/color]

<span style="color:fuchsia;font-family:comic sans ms;font-size:xx-small;]Peach, Eru, Heart

The protectors of Mariana, and the First Dubbed[/color]

"Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon Ron, doesn't mean we all have"





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Post Post subject: Re: Falling For You - Rated PG-13
Posted: Fri Aug 13, 2004 10:14 PM
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Wow, another fantastic chapter. These are really good. I feel really bad for Jasmine and of course, you have Sirius acting like a total male: Looks first! I can see that. This is really good. I just hope Jasmine finds a better way to deal with her pain, but being trapped between the muggle and wizarding world can't be easy. Poor, poor girl.



I can't wait to read more. I'll keep checking for more!







-Michelle

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Ginevra6
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Post Post subject: Re: Chapter 11
Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2004 01:58 AM
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Yay! I finally got to read it. If anyone else has trouble, try going to chapter 2, and then see if you can access 11.

I really enjoyed this chapter - apart from Sirius being all besotted with the Mary Sue, clearly being inside for so long has affected his brain, and that cynicism we love so much... The confrontation between him and Jasmine was really well done. I'm glad to have found out something of what's behind her actions, but I still think there's a deeper issue underlying her lack of self respect. The interplay between Ron and Hermione was really cute

Don't stop!



~Evra

<span style="color:black;font-family:Christmas;font-size:small;]&quot;Okay, already!&quot; snapped Evra. &quot;Will you go ahead and take the picture already, so we can turn off these confunded floodlights and get back to what we were doing in the dark!&quot;

Sirius nodded in agreement...[/color]Edited by: <A HREF=http://p072.ezboard.com/bsiriusblackfanclub.showUserPublicProfile?gid=ginevra6>Ginevra6[/url] at: 8/17/04 3:11 am


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jasmine
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Post Post subject: Re: Chapter 11
Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2004 09:02 AM
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Yaay thank you Ginny! I know, I hate that stupid Mary Sue as well but I need to keep her in...sometimes it's hard not to accidentally make her get eaten by buckbeack...

Glad you liked, thank you so much for reading! <!--EZCODE EMOTICON START Very Happy --><img src=http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/happy.gif ALT=":D]<!--EZCODE EMOTICON END-->



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Post Post subject: Re: Chapter 11
Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2004 12:02 PM
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Another great chapter! It was fantastic. I really liked...well, all of it. The best, was of course the end. Hinting about Sirius being jealous. I can't wait for the next chapter.



*While waiting, I'm going to picture Hestia (hope I spelled that right) being eaten by buckbeak! Is that her fate? Oh, I hope so....

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Post Post subject: Re: Chapter 12
Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2004 07:56 PM
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Fantastic chapter Jasmine! Yay for Fred and George being back Smile You do them really well...I've said before that dialogue is one of your strongest points, which might sound arbitrary, but a lot of writers fall down on the dialogue, and it prevents their story being very believable. Extendable eyes...oh, God, the temptation! I felt really sad for poor Jasmine...and that Hestia is an evil minx, but we all know people just like her!

Can't wait for 13 *squees and jumps up and down*

Oh, maybe when you put up new chapters you could edit the title of your first post so people here know there's a new chapter. I only really read the fics here, so I don't check at fanfics... Then we can get to them faster!

~Ginny

<span style="color:black;font-family:Christmas;font-size:small;]&quot;Okay, already!&quot; snapped Evra. &quot;Will you go ahead and take the picture already, so we can turn off these confunded floodlights and get back to what we were doing in the dark!&quot;

Sirius nodded in agreement...[/color]


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Post Post subject: Re: Chapter 12
Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2004 08:44 PM
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*Happy Sob* I love chapter 13! Just love it! I won't give anything away, since it's not even posted as being up, but it is wonderful! He is so good to her, and he doesn't even know Jas! And when that drunk man comes... *sob* Ah, well, I need chapter 14! Wee! Snaps for you!:w00t Woot!

<span style="color:blue;font-family:century gothic;font-size:xx-small;]~peach

or princess peach, dubbed by Mariana[/color]

<span style="color:red;font-family:helvetica;font-size:x-small;]The First Dubbed[/color]

"Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon Ron, doesn't mean we all have"





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Post Post subject: Re: Chapter 12
Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2004 09:05 PM
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Ooh, i only have 2 seconds, but I loved this chapter, I'm so glad Jasmine has started to realise her self worth - so beautiful!!!



Edit: stupid internet connection dies after 3 hours - so tiresome. But I wanted to be the first one here, only Peach beat me anyhow. Woot for Peach!



This chapter was really great. I'm very curious about Tom's future in the story - he could turn out to be very important, only we're still assuming that Jas and Sirius end up together, or he could be like an angel that appears for just a little while, just at the right moment to make Jasmine believe the thing she really needs to know. Sigh. It's so hard being a teenager. I'm glad she has good friends, and somebody to help her see herself in a different way.



Will be in the race for first to chapter 14...



~Ginny

<span style="color:black;font-family:Christmas;font-size:small;]&quot;Okay, already!&quot; snapped Evra. &quot;Will you go ahead and take the picture already, so we can turn off these confunded floodlights and get back to what we were doing in the dark!&quot;

Sirius nodded in agreement...[/color]Edited by: <A HREF=http://p072.ezboard.com/bsiriusblackfanclub.showUserPublicProfile?gid=ginevra6>Ginevra6[/url] at: 8/18/04 8:16 pm


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Post Post subject: Re: Falling For You - Chapter 13 now up!
Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2004 09:16 PM
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Oh Jas! That was great. I loved it. I wonder if Tom is going to have a bigger part in this story and help Jasmine out more. Oh, how sweet. *cryingI felt so bad for her. I wanted to beat up both those jerks in the park. But, Tom came to her rescue and she is safe. For now. I can't wait to read more.



Super Great Chapter!!! <!--EZCODE EMOTICON START :shrug --><img src=http://pages.prodigy.net/siriusblack/boards/smilies/shrug.gif ALT=":shrug]<!--EZCODE EMOTICON END--> (Don't ask, because I have no idea!) Great Chapter!!!



-Michelle

[Shelly][/link]

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