Wow! Mum you're great at updating. I like where you're going with this. I agree with Nix. How could you be nervous! You're so good at it. Connie's dead! I was hoping you would develop her character a bit more but i'm sure i'll find out why you did it soon. Anyway i loved the chapter and the description of the room when Voldemort is in it. I love your style and update soon.

Love Faith xxxxxxxxxx

As requested:

I bet you thought it'd take me longer. You just happened to catch me between Julius Caesar and the French Revolution....

I love the plot, Mum. It's very well thought out. I didn't read your other reviews so most of the things I'm going to say may have already been pointed out but I'll say them anyway.

If you're going to kill off Connie, you should spend more time with her and Sirius, showing us how much he cares for her so that we care when he cries.

I think the only other concrit I can offer is to slow down a bit more on your descriptions and describe the scene a bit more using background sounds and smells.

Loved it.
I quite like it when lots of things happen to start with it sets the tone of the fic...I"m expecting big things from you Mum!!! haha
I really like that Reg and Sirius are 'actual' brothers instead of enemies, makes a nice change.

Although I do agree that a bit more description of emotions and padding out of the story is in order.

*Waits for next bit*

Mum, this fanfic is fabulous!
You're writing it beautifully!!

I love they way you've set up everything so it flows together and connects with the original, but I totally agree you should expand your story. I'd love to read the detailed HP world through your eyes.
This 'Connie' needs more said about her: her relationship with Sirius and Regulus' connection to her needs to be explored. Otherwise I'm just not 'feeling' her death.

But you're doing a truly wonderful job!! I really can't wait to read more!
You have another stalker!

*hugs*

~Dragon

Keep writing annasmum, I love stories with Regulus in them! I too like the fact that they are actual brothers and not total enemies. I've always thought they were probably close at some point in their lives.

Keep going!

OMM you guys! Thank you for all the wonderful compliments and suggestions Adara, Potter, Paddy, Nix, Star, Pucker, Dragon, Ribena, Dexy, Rach and Faith. You don't realize what that means to me! And I completely agree that Connie needs more story. Ask and you shall receive....

The next morning, Sirius stared out the window looking at nothing, remembering everything. On the table in front of him were a shot glass and a bottle of Bushmill’s scotch. He poured a glass, threw back his head, swallowed, and grimaced. I don’t know how Muggles can drink this rot.

It was a cool, crisp sunny October day. The trees were turning red and gold, ironically, the colors of Gryffindor. Leaves were blowing in the wind, falling off the trees and swirling down to the ground. Lily was wearing flowing white robes, made from an ethereal, sparkly organza. Her glossy auburn hair was encircled by a wreath of miniature white roses with wisps of ringlets framing her heart shaped face. Nothing could outshine the smile on her face. She looked so pure, so happy. She was holding a cascade of lilies, roses, and greenery. She took a deep breath and started moving towards her destiny.

James was standing inside the oak gazebo, waiting for his dreams to come true, with Sirius by his side. James was fidgeting, moving from foot to foot, pulling on his collar. His hazel eyes looked impatiently down the path and saw her slowly moving towards him. He stopped and stared, not believing this moment was finally here.

Sirius glanced at his best mate. He wondered what it would be like to love someone so wholly and unconditionally. Yes, his friends loved him, but it couldn’t compare to how Lily and James completed each other. He always had women falling all over him, but they didn’t know him; they didn’t know what kind of person he was.

He glimpsed down the aisle and watched Connie, Lily’s maid of honor, leisurely walk down the aisle, towards them. Her ebony hair gleamed in the sunlight, so dark and shiny; it looked like keys on a piano. She was in filmy, golden robes, gossamer and light. Connie reached the James and Sirius and winked, leaning over to whisper in James’ ear that he was a lucky man. He looked at her and gave her a shaky smile, replying that he knew he was.

After Lily and James exchanged their vows through tears and laughter, Sirius and Connie linked arms and followed the blissful couple through the throng of guests. Connie had been Lily’s best friend throughout their years at Hogwarts. She always rose to the occasion when mischief was afoot. Connie grinned impishly up at Sirius, aqua blue eyes sparkling.

“So, what dastardly tricks have you planned for their departure?”

Sirius looked at her in mock outrage. “As if!”

Connie lightly punched him in the arm. “I know you better than that. Who was your partner in crime when you put delayed vanishing ink in the inkwells before finals?”

Sirius threw back his head and let out a hearty laugh. “The look on Snivellus’ face when he went to hand in his Defense Against the Dark Arts written and all of his answers had disappeared was worth scrubbing all the armor in Hogwarts.”

“And you never ratted me out,” Connie mused, “I was always very thankful to you for that. My father would have stopped letting you come to Zonko’s.”

“Exactly my point. What fun would life have been without Zonko’s?”

They stopped underneath the ash tree, arms still linked. Sirius turned towards her gazing down at Connie, eyes twinkling with mirth. As he looked into her luminous eyes, he suddenly felt a tug at his heart strings. She stared back at him, licking her lips, face turned upward towards him. As he took in her oval face, petite upturned nose, plump pink lips, he realized he never had really looked at her, never really noticed her beauty, inside and out. He leaned into her, closed his eyes, and touched his lips to hers. For a brief moment, time stood still for him. His kiss grew hungry, seeking out her response. Her lips went soft and malleable under his. He gathered her to him, sliding his fingers in her silky tresses. He plied her mouth open with his tongue, delving into her sweetness.

“Ahem.”

Startled, the two jumped apart, disappointment showing in their faces that the kiss was over. Sirius saw James standing there with a goofy grin on his face.

“Well, this is an unexpected twist,” James smirked, “Wait until I tell the wife. Merlin’s beard! I have a wife now.” James grinned broadly and clapped Sirius on the back. “I hate to break up your personal festivities but you’re needed at the head table for the toast.”

Sirius and Connie exchanged guilty glances. Sirius grabbed Connie’s hand, and led her to the table. He pulled out her chair, gently pushing it in as she sat. He placed a kiss on her head and walked over to his seat. He took his crystal goblet filled with blood red elf-made wine and raised it in Lily and James’ direction. Lily and James were beaming at him, their eyes filled with happiness. Before he started speaking, he glanced over to Connie and gently smiled. Maybe this was a beginning for him.

Sirius was shaken out of his trance with the relentless pounding on his door and the urgent calling of his name. Sirius sighed and pushed his chair from the table. He staggered as he rose to his feet, eyes bleary with drink. He wrenched open the door to reveal Regulus, hand raised, poised to pummel the door some more. Sirius vaguely gestured towards the kitchen behind him. He turned his back to him and walked back towards the table, plopping himself down while reaching for the bottle.

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By the way Dragon, I always welcome more stalkers.

Yet another great chapter Mum. I love your writing style and how you can create an image with your use of words. I loved how you described Lily and James' wedding. Anywayz this was a great chapter and I can't wait for more.


Love from Faith xxxx

Quote::

“Well, this is an unexpected twist,” James smirked, “Wait until I tell the wife. Merlin’s beard! I have a wife now.” James grinned broadly and clapped Sirius on the back.

Haha! That's hilarious! It's so like James to say that...

Aw, Mum! I love it! It was a wonderful chapter! I also love how you portrayed James. He was so nervous, and that was ADORABLE.
Keep it up!

Lovely so far Mum. I can't wait to see where you are going to go with the story of Regulus!

I like that you've incorporated the story of the prophecy in this also.

Lovely chapter! The flashback was a great idea. I loved the first line,

Quote::

The next morning, Sirius stared out the window looking at nothing, remembering everything.

I also loved the beautiful descriptions in the memory, they created a certain atmosphere and made everything seem a bit dream like, which is actually perfect for a memory like that. I guess Sirius would remember it like that even if it wasn't that perfect in reality.

I think you could have tied it back to reality after the flashback though, the ending seems a bit abrupt. A sentence or two in the end which shake the reader back into reality, might create a very poignant effect, methinks.

Oh, and I found a typo...

James has fidgeting, moving from foot to foot, pulling on his collar.
It should be 'James was fidgeting...' there. Took me some time to get what you meant there.

Aww Mum, that was beautiful --THAT KISS-- was amazing, I really felt it! Your writing is getting more and more descriptive and the flashback idea was great! Please update soon, I can't wait for more!

Mum I loved this chapter!! You descriptions of lily's dress, the kiss, and how James was nervously awaiting his bride were great! I really love how you write...it's like I was there experiencing the whole moment (especially the kiss..tee heee). Actually I kind of liked the fact that there was an ebrubt return to reality. It makes sense, seeing as how he was in a trance, thinking of her, and probably would have stayed in la-la land had it not been for the banging on the door. The abruptiveness of it all was fine...although you could have maybe gone the other route and have someone knocking on Sirius or him hearing the knock in the dream before waking up...ANyway as always, you did a lovely job.

*joins Dragon stalking mum*

hugs
sboof

Sboof wrote:

Actually I kind of liked the fact that there was an ebrubt return to reality.

Hehe, I like it too, as it is now. Only this ending wasn't there when I commented. It ended just with the dream sequence, and there was no 'return to reality'. That's why I suggested it, and I only just noticed the added ending.

Mum, I really liked how it turned out! The knock was a great idea, and we get to see more of Regulus as well, which reminds us that the story is actually about Regulus and that ithe memory was merely a flashback. Well done!

Very lovely story, got all goose bumpy. I love that you write in small chapter's, keep going!