I love Sirius and I think that he is such a unique character, but I really think it would have been a disaster if Harry actually lived with him. Like Jo said in an interview, he does have a bit of a developmental issue. None of it was his fault, of course. I just feel like Harry wants a parent so much that he would automatically look to Sirius, who wants his best friend back. There would be no boundaries at all, and teens need that. Even though teens might moan about how strict their parents are, it's the teens who have no rules that are really suffering. They have nothing to adhere to and there is just chaos.
Lupin would have probably had to step in a few times (like he did in OOP) and put some rational thoughts into situations. Sirius has lived his entire life on taking risks and being a rebel. And while Harry has been on adventures, faced death, and broken rules, he did so because he had no choice. This is a contrast to Sirius, who did those things because of his personality and character.
All in all, I feel like it might have been a good thing that he never lived with Sirius alone and for a long period of time.

I don't think it was entirely different for Harry with regards to breaking rules. Many times Harry chose to break rules for his own gain (usually to satisfy his curiosity). For example, when he broke into the restricted section of the library in first year... that was just to check for a name! In fact... more often than not it's Harry's rebellious side that leads him in the direction of those adventures.

I agree, though, that Sirius would have been a bad influence (regarding rules only) on Harry while growing up.... but that by the time Harry was almost 14, he had his outlook on life pretty well figured out. I don't think spending the summers with Sirius would have changed Harry much.

Or... if you're referring to the fact that James and Lily made him godfather in the first place... well you just never know who would make a good guardian. In fact, I find that the people who broke rules when they were younger tend to be the ones that forbid them later one.

Also... let's take a look at Sirius' good qualities. He's an excellent listener, very tolerant (key for teens), is willing to let people learn from their own mistakes, has good morals (look what he grew up with and how he turned out), and deep down inside he's genuinely good natured. He could teach Harry about nobility and responsibility. It's one thing to break rules, it's another to take responsibility for them (which he does).

The more I think of it, the more I think that Sirius would have been great had he been given the chance... and I don't think he would have let Harry get away with anything. Look at what he encouraged and what he didn't. He encouraged Harry to start the DA because it didn't put his life in danger and it helped other people learn to protect themselves. It was done with good intentions. However, he discouraged Harry from breaking rules in fourth year and to keep his head down to save his life. Sure Sirius enjoyed breaking rules.. but from what I gather it was mostly harmless fun... except perhaps for the furry little problem and it's meeting with Snape (which I think he learned from).

I'm not really talking about the stunts that Sirius played at school. I'm talking about the fact that he is looking for a friend in Harry and he couldn't always be a father figure to him. Like in OOP in the scene when Sirius was talking to Harry in the fire, Harry shouldn't have had to tell Sirius that it wass dangerous for him to come and visit him.
Can you just imagine how crazy their house would be? I mean, Sirius is still coping with some things, and he's so unbalanced. It would not be the absolute best thing in terms of order, but like Jo said, his amount of affection would overrule some of the detriments.

I think that in the PoA, GoF and the OotP, Sirius was really trying to catch up on the 14 or so years of Harry's life that he'd missed. That probably promted him to be a bit overprotective and do a couple of stupid things.

Also, I think Sirius was trying to be a father and a friend to Harry in that space of time. Maybe he was aware of the fact that Harry had gone so long without a father, but couldn't ignore that Harry also looked and sometimes acted a lot like James.

If they had ever lived together, their house would have been a bit topsy-turvy at times, but as courtz said, his love and affection for Harry would make him take care of Harry properly.

*nods, long ears flapping*

I think Sirius was a lovely godfather! Yes, of course he had his own problems to deal with, but he always protected Harry (not many people would spend nearly a year in a cave living off rats), and could get rather strict with him when he felt it was necessary (see GoF where he made Harry promise to stay in the castle and not to wander off anywhere).
Thing is, Sirius was reckless with his own safety, but not when Harry's safety was concerned.

Sirius showed Harry how much he cared in his letters and the few times they actually were able to spend together. That was the most important gift he gave to Harry. And Harry trusted Sirius and cared for him as strongly as Sirius cared for him. That's a great basis for any family-relationship.

I can imagine if Harry had been able to spend more time with Sirius, they probably would have had arguments--as normal in any family relationships--but I think these would have been caused by not knowing each other well in day-to-day situations and getting to know each other better. The two would have had to work out the whole authority-rules thing, because Harry was already growing up fast, and Sirius had no experience of being a father. Both would have learnt from each other--again, a lot of parents grow up with their kids, lol.

Harry and Sirius also had a lot of respect for each other's opinions, and more important than rules for most teenagers is that somebody listens to them and respects their views. Sirius certainly did that, and also showed faith in Harry's abilities to deal with difficult situations. To be trusted and to be seen as capable is a great foundation for anybody's growth, so again, I think Sirius was a good influence on Harry.

Too much is made of Sirius' recklessness. I think his other qualities such as his love, care and respect for Harry outweigh this flaw big time.

Also, what's wrong with a topsy-turvy household I think Sirius would have been well capable of giving Harry some stability, some routine and some rules. Mind you, it would have been a typical men's household...I say typical, because there are some men who are very fussy about their home, but alas, neither Sirius nor Harry strike me as the overtly clean type, lol. I have visions of pizza packets on the floor and dirty socks everywhere *giggles*

It might not have been a picture-book family life, but honestly, whose family is like that?

WinkyTeatowel wrote:

*nods, long ears flapping* I think Sirius was a lovely godfather! Yes, of course he had his own problems to deal with, but he always protected Harry (not many people would spend nearly a year in a cave living off rats), and could get rather strict with him when he felt it was necessary (see GoF where he made Harry promise to stay in the castle and not to wander off anywhere). Thing is, Sirius was reckless with his own safety, but not when Harry's safety was concerned. Sirius showed Harry how much he cared in his letters and the few times they actually were able to spend together. That was the most important gift he gave to Harry. And Harry trusted Sirius and cared for him as strongly as Sirius cared for him. That's a great basis for any family-relationship. I can imagine if Harry had been able to spend more time with Sirius, they probably would have had arguments--as normal in any family relationships--but I think these would have been caused by not knowing each other well in day-to-day situations and getting to know each other better. The two would have had to work out the whole authority-rules thing, because Harry was already growing up fast, and Sirius had no experience of being a father. Both would have learnt from each other--again, a lot of parents grow up with their kids, lol. Harry and Sirius also had a lot of respect for each other's opinions, and more important than rules for most teenagers is that somebody listens to them and respects their views. Sirius certainly did that, and also showed faith in Harry's abilities to deal with difficult situations. To be trusted and to be seen as capable is a great foundation for anybody's growth, so again, I think Sirius was a good influence on Harry. Too much is made of Sirius' recklessness. I think his other qualities such as his love, care and respect for Harry outweigh this flaw big time. Also, what's wrong with a topsy-turvy household P I think Sirius would have been well capable of giving Harry some stability, some routine and some rules. Mind you, it would have been a typical men's household...I say typical, because there are some men who are very fussy about their home, but alas, neither Sirius nor Harry strike me as the overtly clean type, lol. I have visions of pizza packets on the floor and dirty socks everywhere *giggles* It might not have been a picture-book family life, but honestly, whose family is like that?

Of course I don't expect them to have a picture perfect family and for everything to be "normal". I think that Sirius is a WONDERFUL person because who would be willing to die for their friends and for what is right? I mean, it might be easier now that Harry is almost an adult, but boy oh boy would they have a weird relationship. I just want to go into the books and give everyone therapy (not with meds...I don't believe in meds for everything).

Okay guys, I wrote a nice long post yesterday just as the site went down and it got lost. I'll just sum it up now, sorry if it sounds brusque.

Point A: This is a repeat topic. Next time, please do a search function before starting a new topic. I see you're pretty new around here, Courtz, so please check out the site rules posted at the top of this and every forum.

Point B: You seem to be having a fruitful discussion despite it being a repeat, so I am leaving it open.

Point C: Courtz, when you reply to someone's posts, it's usually not done to quote their entire post. Just quote the very salient points from their post, or put the other person's name in bold to indicate that you are responding to their specific points.

Sorry about the quote thing. I made a mistake and clicked on the "quote the last message" box.
Thanks for your comments. Like you said, I'm new, so I'm still getting used to the forums.

We'll never know...or will we in book 7??? If I just take the information from the books and not JK Rowlings statements from the interviews here is what I come up with:

1) Sirius and Harry loved each other and needed each other --what a better way to start a family

2) A teenager, like Harry, WANTED to be with Sirius. On the psychological side of things, I would have encouraged Dumbledore to have Harry live with Sirius. First, because Harry just needed it emotionally and secondly, Harry is a very able and capable individual who respected "the rules" at the D's his whole childhood. He could have run away rebelled more and he really (in the grand scheme of things) didn't. So, I would bet he'd set up his own "rules" as an older adolescent living with Sirius

3) It's what Lily and James wanted. That's why you choose a godparent


Okay...that's my initial reactions. Can you tell I just LOVE AND MISS SIRIUS or what

Ok, I acknowledge your love for Sirius. However, how do you figure that Harry needed Sirius psychologically? I mean, I know that he was abused for lack of a better word, at the Dursley's, but my point is that Sirius is still growing himself if you think on it. He was arrested in his early 20s, which means that he is now trying to regroup and live a "normal" life. He's been through so much that it might have been a large task for him and Harry to live as godparent and godson.
I know that Lilly and James appointed him, but they hardly new they were going to die a year later and Sirius end in Azkaban.
Please don't think that I believe Sirius to be a terribly rash and irresponsible person (I'm not Molly). I want, just like the next person, to have a scene where Sirius and Harry are hashing out plans for a summer holiday full of fun and adventure. I just know that it wouldn't be that simple. Sirius is still grieving for James and Lilly. Harry is the closest thing to them. It would cause problems. Sirius would feel as if he could be mates with Harry then things would be as good as if he had James back. Harry would fee the need to oblige him as he would feel if he could get close to his father's best friend then he could have his father.
All in all, it would be rather complex (although incredibly fun to read). I'm not saying that it wouldn't work, but it's not the best relationship in the world.

*scratches long ears*

I can't see it being more difficult than many other teenage-parent/guardian relationships. Also, Harry wouldn't have been able to live with Sirius properly unless Sirius' name was cleared (otherwise, it would always have to have been Grimmauld Place, and Order work would always have interferred with routine life). A Sirius who was free and happy would have been a very different person from the one we met in OotP. Sirius was a very intelligent man, and once free and being fully integrated back in the wizarding world would have quickly caught up with the gaps in his own development. I think he was already catching up in OotP with Remus' help anyway.

I think because Sirius had gone through so much, he would be able to help Harry through his own difficulties. Sirius was the male father-figure Harry could identify with, while at the same time being very aware of his weaknesses: for instance, Harry did worry about Sirius recklessness, but did often not recognize his own recklessness.

Both cared so much for each other, and also were very protective of each other. They had a solid basis for a good family relationship. However, of course, living together, even just in the holidays, would mean setting boundaries, negociating, working out a routine, and that can be tricky, especially with a teenager. Still, I maintain that because Harry knew that Sirius cared for him, he would have listened to Sirius, and because Sirius respected Harry's views, he would have listened to him. So I think the two would have worked things out eventually--maybe with some arguments, but because the basis of the relationship was care and respect, they both would have really benefitted from each other's company.

Yeah...i suppose so. I mean, Sirius was never given the chance to live like a free man. Poor guy. And Harry is so mature though, much more so than the average teen. It might have worked out if Sirius got his name cleared. But in OOP, it would not be such a balanced relationship. I still think that despite everything, both Harry and Sirius are looking for James in each other. And that issue would need some attention. It just wouldn't be healthy. But what in life is?

Maybe you're right but I think he would mature and grow up if he had Harry to look after.And after all,in GOF Sirius does EVERYTHING to be a good godfather for him,he shows an almost exaggerating scence of resposibility.
I also think that the fact that James' death was partly his fault and that James and Lily appointed him his guardian if sth happened to them would make him quite a good guardian for Harry,because he wouldn't want to fail them twice,betray their trust.

As for Harry not liking taking risks and being disobedient just for the un of it,Idon't think it's entirely true.He's being reckless and acts without thinking in several points throughout the books!But that's not the point!

After all,living with the Dursleys is not good for him either.At least with Sirius he would be able to feel some short of parental love.

I totally agree that Sirius would love Harry more than the Durselys. They would just have some issues to work out (like all families). It's just that there would be boundary issues. I'm sure that it could be smoothed out, but Sirius is such a loose cannon sometimes!!! I just don't think that it would have been good during OOP for Harry to live with Sirius. He still has A LOT of issues to deal with.

Harry's life with Sirius would probably be like living with your favourite uncle. Generally your favourite uncle is the one you end up having as a godparent anyway, so I guess that makes some sense. Also, James and Sirius were not that different. That's why they got along so well. If you think about it, in the end he would be like James without a Lily to keep him on a tighter leash.

I think in the end the choice for all parents is a tough one. Because you have to decide whether you want the godparent to be responsible, and how strict you would want them to be. Sirius almost strikes me as the type who would, if in a normal school setting, encourage Harry to play hookie every once in a while with him. Just to hang out. However, there is the fact that sometimes with Harry he did have the ability to tell him "No, you can't do that." I think, personally, that Sirius would have been very capable of making sure James' boy "grew up right." I think that because Sirius and James were so similar, Harry wouldn't have been raised much differently under his care than under his parents' care.

Although, I will leave you with this: love and love alone does not a good relationship make. Love does not pay the bills or make everything alright. Yes, it's important, but feasability of care is important too.