Black (PG)

Post subject: Black (PG) Posted: Fri Mar 24, 2006 06:06 AM

Title: Black
Penname: -
Rating: PG
Pairings: None
Warnings: It's a little sad, sort of dark.
Notes: I wrote this in English class. Thought it was worth sharing.
Constructive Criticism?: If you'd like.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and his world do not belong to me. No money is being made. No harm is intended.

Black

He can feel the darkness
Crawling into the corners of his mind
The veil beckons
With icy fingers
No regrets
Only empty dreams
A million thoughts
In one slowed-down moment
As he teeters on the edge
Of this world and the next.
The cold creeps into his heart
The end is close now
Maybe he'll see his friends again
His heart will be whole
Even though it's not alive
He will finally be free
From the painful life he led.
The veil flutters.
He is free.

Post subject: Re: Black (PG) Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 12:34 AM

Very dark
but it makes me wish to embark
on a new adventure, something great
but this poem...it gives me hate
why would sirius die?
yes...why oh why?
you have let death seep in my eyes
as my heart cries

Post subject: Re: Black (PG) Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 09:34 PM

Excellent, a Dark poem, sounds great, love it, that is the kind of stuff I live for, I'm into Dark things so congrats, you got me hooked, More please! (I'm currrently over caffinated so read that fast and you've got the way it is in my mind) Caffeine overdose

Post subject: Re: Black (PG) Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 11:28 PM

I love this it's really dark but very, very good.
I love this part

Darkness wrote:

A million thoughts
In one slowed-down moment
As he teeters on the edge
Of this world and the next.

Great Job!! Keep it up!

Post subject: Re: Black (PG) Posted: Tue Sep 05, 2006 08:54 PM

Are you gothic? It suits the poem Smile

Dark and well thought about
L.O.V.E. it

Post subject: Re: Black (PG) Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2006 04:41 AM

Wow I loved this poem considering I write alot of dark things myself but this was great! I loved this line, it made me shiver!

"With icy fingers
No regrets
Only empty dreams"

Great job! I can't wait to read more of you poetry!

Post subject: Re: Black (PG) Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2006 05:45 PM

This is dark, but not without much hope. I think that's why I like it. These lines in particular:

Maybe he'll see his friends again
His heart will be whole

and :

He is free

Yes this freedom means death, but I think someone I admire greatly said is the next great adventure. (Totally cut and paraphrased... is without books.)

I hope you'll share more.